Thank you to everyone who keeps coming back to read and comment on my excerpts every week.
Last week Noah asked Isabeau about the truth.
He couldn’t possibly know of the lie that burned her tongue like acid. “Since when does anyone care about the truth?”
“I care.”
She shook her head in denial. He sounded so sincere she almost believed him. Almost.
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45 comments:
'burned her tongue like acid' - great simile! And the final word delivered a real punch. Great six!
Emotion, forward movement and dialog that makes you want to know these two. Great six!
What an intense conversation they are having! And your writing is so colorful. Greta six!
Nice descriptive 6! Love it!
Very telling is so few words!
I love this story. You're so creative with your writing. Great six!
Hm....intriguing. Makes me want to know why she doesn't believe him.
Wow! Lots of emotions going on there in 6 sentences! Nicely done!
Don't believe him, Isabeau! I love the tension. Great six, Sarah!
Intense emotion! In very few words, you portrayed her at the edge of a leap of faith, wanting to believe but not able to. Great six!
She must be extremely fragile and hurt to want to believe so badly and not be able to. Excellent six
Sounds like he's got his work cut out for him if he's going to get her to trust him!
burned like acid. great stuff!
Excellent--love your use of the language.
punchy - more please
truth burning like acid, OMG I LOVE THIS SIX!! Very emotional and packs a punch for such a short snippet xx
Lies do burn like acid on your tongue! Fabulous simile. Great six :)
Great six!
Love the poignancy of that repeating "Almost"! Emotional six.
So intense. I want this to work out for both of them.
Awww - he said he cares. Hope she makes it past the 'almost'.
Quite a hook on the last two lines. Nice six
Love the 'acid' lie. That's terrific writing!
great hook, nice six. well done
Liz
Does he usually lie? Sounds like she does! They have a long way to go if they're going to learn to trust each other.
Nice balance between the intense image and the simpler language. Whether he can handle the truth depends on what the lie is, doesn't it? ;)
He's going to have to work harder than that!
I loved the descriptive way the "lie burned like acid". Great tension with a hint of deception :)
Love the opening lines Great six
Great teaser. Why did she 'almost' believe him? I enjoyed this.
I also liked the "acid" comparitor. Great six!
love that last paragraph. tells me a lot about her. Great six!
What wonderful emotion! :)
~Xakara
Dawn's Early Light 6SS
Great description! Very intense!
Hi Sarah! So happy to see you here! This is my first day participating in SSS. Love your six!
Thanks!
Great interaction and show of emotion. More please.. :)
I love the tension and intensity. Great descriptions!
Good job on these.
This is so intense and emotional! Great job!
Yes, but is her continued mistrust hurting her? I have to wonder. This scene has really great tension and dialogue! :)
Awe, won't she please give him a chance?
Wow, I'm intrigued. Does he deserve her doubt? :)
Gorgeous, effortless rhythm. I finished the six and was itching to keep reading. That kind of flow is rare.
Very spare prose, but full of undertones. Intriguing six!
Great snippet!
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